"The Third Side" by William Ury

I was listening to NPR yesterday and heard this program on the show "Humankind". Their guest was William Ury, the famed negotiation specialist who wrote "Getting to Yes." Ury was promoting his new book "The Third Side" which is about how in a two-party conflict, a third party can have a huge impact in creating a more positive outcome, sometimes by doing little more than bearing witness to the situation.

Ury struck me as tremendously compassionate when he stressed how we all have the capability, and perhaps even the repsonsibility, to act in a "third side" kind of role because this position has so much power in improving the outcome of a conflict situation. (He also stresses how little engagement is necessary to be an effective "third side".) This is in stark contrast to my New Yorker, "keep your head down and eyes forward" kind of upbringing. I'm reminded of a time when we made a gorup outing into the city and passed by this frail old woman in a wheelchair who had gotten stuck trying to roll from the street onto the sidewalk. Almost all of us, myself included, basically ignored or didn't notice the woman and her quiet pleas for help. Jerry however, heard her and acted, pushing her securely onto the sidewalk where she could continue her journey on her own power. It's not as if I didn't notice, but as part of this defense-fear-NYC kind of reaction, erased her from my reality for that moment.

I didn't get to hear the whole radio program, I should fill out the survey on that site and listen to it on my iPod. I also need to stop in at Border's and buy that book.